Da Dao Li :31

sometimes..
stuff that work everyday, like a car engine,
it just breaks down..
without any rhyme or reason..
like communication

you know?

there are 2 parts to effective communication:
1)effective message sending
2)effective message receiving

as u can see.. parts 1) and 2) are to be done by 2 people in a conversation as and when the roles are reversed.

under effective message sending, there are 5 parts:
i) Develop rapport:
-It is to put the receiver at ease. This step is usually showered with alot of small talk, as it helps to prepare the receiver to receive the message
ii) State communication objective:
-Begin on what you want to acheive at the end of the conversation.
iii) Transmit your message:
-State expressly what is to be done, instructions, deadlines, information, or requests.
iv) Check the receiver's understanding:
-get feedback from the receiver on whether your true intended information has been properly received.
v) Get a commitment and follow up:
- If the aim of communication is to inform or express feelings, a commitment is not needed. However, others will require some kind of feedback from the receiver if the task can be completed by a certain date or time.


Under the message receiving process, there are 3 parts:
i) Listening:
-pay attention to the speaker, be receptive to the speaker
-avoid distractions:
don't play around with other stuffs
-staying tuned in:
don't let your mind wander, do not tune out the speaker just becos he/she is talking about something u disagree on.
-not assuming and interrupting:
do not assume u know what the speaker is going to say and jump in and interrupt. also, do not jump to ur own conclusions without listening to the whole message.
-watching non-verbal clues:
try to read the body language of the speaker, sometimes the speaker may say something but he really doesn't mean it that way.
-ask questions:
whenever u feel confused, ask the speaker what he/she really means.
-take notes:
if u need to.
-conveying meaning:
let the speaker know u are listening attentively by using 'ic' 'i understand' 'uh huh' etc, or nodding of head, leaning slightly forward to show interest.

ii) Analyzing:
analyzing is the process of thinking about, decoding and evaluatingthe message. poor listening occurs because people speak at a rate of 120 words per minute, yet they can listen at a rate of over 500 words per minute.
-think: listen actively by thinking. organise, summarize, review, interpret positively
-wait to evaluate until after listening. listen to the whole message before evaluating, because if u listen and evaluate at the same time. base your evaluation on facts rather than on stereotypes and generalities.

iii)Checking understanding:
This is the part where the receiver gives feedback to the sender on his/her understanding.
Paraphrase the message to show the sender that u have received it entirely and correctly. this will also allow the sender to correct anything that u have misunderstood.


so after that long lesson on communication, wad am i trying to say?
1) i spent my first sem in uni learning about these monkey stuffs like 'effective communication'
2) therefore, i did not spend my first sem in uni learning:
i) cost mangerial accounting
ii) financial management
iii) any other stuff dat i prolly won't be taking till 2 sems later
3) its not my fault i can't help u with wad u don't know, because
4) i really do not know everything (and i wish u wouldn't complain about it)
5) i don't want to admit to being egoistic, but everyone likes to think they are right most of the time, right?
6) i am really really sorry i lost my temper last nite, i know i shouldn't have cos u were really joking.


Effective communication lesson taken from:
Leadership and teambuilding, chapter 18, Communication, Coaching and Conflict skills,
by MA | LUSSIER | aCHUA